Adapted from The Selling Advantage.
Even the most difficult managers have one redeeming quality, and you can win their loyalty with the right approach.
Sometimes the very qualities that make them so difficult, irrational, emotional, close-minded and demanding can help you gain their support on key initiatives when you need it most.
Five tips
Here are five tips that may help you deal with difficult managers when you need their support:
1. Anticipate as many obstacles and objections you can think of when preparing to win their support. Don’t hesitate to rehearse your responses to avoid being surprised.
2. Avoid letting their negativity affect your response. If you respond in kind, you’re playing their game.
3. Allow yourself time to respond. Try to understand the emotion the manager might be showing, and use patient listening.
4. Dig for the facts. Find out all you can about the manager’s motivations, needs, interests and goals. This awareness can help you create acceptable solutions if the person makes unreasonable demands.
5. Don’t take their behavior personally. Rise above bad behavior and stay in control, no matter what is said.
As any good salesperson can tell you, difficult business people tend to fall into one of these three categories — and resourceful managers can adapt these proven techniques salespeople use when dealing with a difficult colleague.
Three distinct categories
The Situationally Difficult: Those people whose circumstances or situation make them difficult. Something may have happened to disrupt their day, their work flow, or any number of things.
The Strategically Difficult: Those who think being difficult helps them get what they want. It’s a temporary state of mind.
The Simply Difficult: People who have an ingrained personality trait. Their behavior is reactive, manipulative, uncooperative or a combination of these characteristics. It’s a permanent state of mind.
The NICE System
While you can’t control the emotions or actions of a difficult fellow manager, you can control the encounter with something called the NICE approach, a systematic method for dealing with difficult people.
Neutralize your own emotions. Dealing with difficult people is emotional, and the more emotional you are, the less rational you behave. The more your emotions are kept in check, the more you can be in control and direct things toward of a positive outcome.
Identify the type of difficult person you’re dealing with, strategic, situational or just simply difficult.
Control the encounter. Once you know which type of difficult manger you face, you can employ the appropriate techniques to help shape and determine the outcome of the encounter.
Explore options. Even if you control the encounter, you may still be at an impasse. The process of getting “unstuck” often requires the development of common-ground options and carrot-and-stick alternatives that are beneficial to everyone.
